Where the Wild Things Are
by kickstergal
Summary: CH 11 up. "Don't you patronize me. You know I know better than anyone what death does." She studied the pulse point of Jane's wrist. "Don't you dare think that I haven't considered what I'll need to do when it's you."
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Wouldn't want the pressure of thousands of telepathic messages every week going "MAKE THE SUBTEXT ACTUAL TEXT. DO IT."**

It wasn't getting better.

That was Maura's first thought as she glanced through the windshield of the car at Jane as she approached.

Jane looked tired, and sullen, and even though they didn't work together unless they couldn't avoid it, like this morning, Maura could still tell Jane was running on at least 36 hours without sleep.

As she got in the car she opened her mouth to offer to drive, then closed it. That wasn't the way they worked, now.

Jane glanced at her and then started the car. Neither spoke.

Maura could feel the beginnings of a stress headache starting and sat up straighter, ignoring the ache in her temples, as well as the now-familiar ache around her heart. She watched the trees moving past the windows as they drove, knew they had at least an hour until their destination. The sun would be rising by the time they arrived. She pictured them both sitting in silence, surrounded by darkness for the next hour, considered that four months ago they'd be happily bickering about who was buying coffee.

A wave of sorrow hit, so strong she gripped her elbows with her hands, trying to fend it off, at least until she got home and could cry it out.

That was another thing she'd just have to get used to again. Crying alone. She added it to her mental checklist and gripped tighter.

"Cold?"

Maura blinked, surprised. She looked quickly over at Jane, who gestured at the car's heater, her eyes on the road.

"I –um. No! I'm fine. Thank you. I appreciate it." She winced inside at how unsure, how formal she sounded. She'd schooled herself sternly in appropriate responses to possible requests Jane might ask of her in their few interactions, but she still wasn't able to react well to off-the-cuff questions.

She added this to the checklist, too.

Four months. Four months had passed since that day she drew the invisible line in the sand. She couldn't forgive, Jane couldn't forget and that left them – where?

They hadn't talked about it. Jane was punishing herself by not talking about it, and Maura...she was numb, at first. Just numb, and so far removed from feeling she was certain that emotion would be lost to her forever. And by time rage and disappointment, mistrust and despair kicked back in, Jane had removed herself from Maura.

So they hadn't talked, and she knew, when she was able to consider it logically, that Jane was staying away to try to show Maura she was doing penance. But when the anger finally burnt out Maura was left bewildered and irrationally devastated by the fact the one person she trusted to stand with her through anything had...left.

She knew it wasn't rational. None of this was rational. None of this was sane. And now she had to spend an hour in a car with the woman she loved more than a sister and yet couldn't for the life of her figure out how to talk to.

Maura snuck a glance at Jane, whose jaw was tight and her knuckles white on the steering wheel. She closed her eyes as the headache turned nasty and a painful throb beat against her temples.

She gasped as an arm thudded against her chest and the car braked sharply. The car rocked as it ran over something and Jane swore furiously as she pulled over to the side of the road, an arm still protectively braced over Maura's chest.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Maura breathed it out, momentarily more stunned by the fact Jane had touched her rather than the fact they'd hit something. Then common sense kicked in.

Jane was a cop. It was her job to protect. She had a job too.

She met Jane's stare, skittered away to run a glance along Jane's body. "No injuries."

Jane's mouth tightened and she sat back abruptly. "Nope. Think it was a damn fox. Let's go see."

She followed Jane's example as she swung out of the car, grabbing the spare torch she knew Jane kept under the seat.

"There you are." Jane flashed her torch at an animal curled in the bushes at the side of the road.

The torch highlighted a shivering fox, stunned and blinking in the light from the torch.

Jane tsked. "Of all the damn mornings to run in front of my car, little guy."

She started towards the fox, who reared up a little and snarled.

Jane snorted. "Hey! Ungrateful much?."

"He's feral." Maura stated matter-of-factly.

Jane turned to look at her, looking startled. "What?"

"He's feral. You can't blame him for that." Maura crossed her arms, trying to figure out why she suddenly wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry until there was nothing left to be sad about anymore.

Jane blinked slowly at her as she repeated herself. "Um...what?"

Moira pointed at the fox. "He is what he is. It's not his fault that he was kept out in the cold all his life – it's not his fault he's never known...warmth. If he's never had anything to compare his current existence to, how can you blame him for being wild? He's used to being on the edges of people's lives. If he doesn't know how to react when someone is kind – that's no more his fault than the colour of his coat."

"Maura." She looked away from the fox to meet Jane's amused gaze.

"What?" She crossed her arms again as Jane took a tentative step towards her.

"Is someone over-identifying with Cujo, do you think?" She reached out to tug a strand of Maura's hair." I mean –"

Maura yanked away. "-Don't make fun of me, Jane."

Jane stiffened and dropped her arm. "I wasn't – well, okay, yeah I was. But I do that all the time!" Maura heard the frustration laced through her voice as she amended. "I _used_ to do that all the time."

"Not this time."

Jane just raised a shoulder in a casual shrug in response, but Maura saw the pain and concern, quickly hidden, in Jane's eyes as they met hers.

She raised her chin in response. "You don't get to be worried about me, either." Now the concern changed to a thoughtful analysis, which was worrying. Maura recognised the signs of a full-blown interrogation brewing. "Forget it. Let's just – put it down."

"Drop it."

"Yes."

"No, you _mean_ drop it, but I'm not going to."

Maura sighed. "Why?"

Jane grinned suddenly, surprising Maura. "Because I live to see that annoyed expression. Despite the fact that mostly I feel like one day you're going to pull out a scalpel and threaten me with grievous bodily assault."

Maura smiled, reluctantly, feeling something inside her that was determined to be dark suddenly lighten. "That already happens to you too often for my liking. However tasers, I understand, give an impressive jolt...just enough to make nosy detectives learn their lesson."

Jane blinked slowly, surprised at her brevity. Considering her willingness to play, Maura thought, the rusty, unused Jane file in her head suddenly, annoyingly working at top speed.

Watching her, Jane spread her hands wide in an innocent shrug. "Me? Hey, I'm just an innocent bystander here. Me and the fox you're so determined to protect."

Maura, being nobody's fool, kept her mouth shut, and merely raised a brow at Jane. Smiled prettily. Stalemate.

Jane huffed in amusement, then raised a brow back, tutting softly. "My my Miss Maura, mighty confident I'm not going to get it out of you, aren't we?"

Maura, not at all confident but somehow understanding through the storm of emotions whirling through her that with Jane it was best to bluff one's way through, simply blinked at her.

"Hmm." Jane locked eyes with Maura, held. A gleam appeared in Jane's eyes and Maura divined the thought just as Jane moved towards the fox.

"Don't you dare!" She moved to stand in front of the animal.

"Why?" Jane asked softly.

Maura spread her hands, suddenly shaking, struggling for her usual calm. "You're – you're going to hurt it."

A strange expression crossed Jane's face and was gone before she could read it. "You really think so, huh?"

Maura shook her head, upset. "No, I just –"

"-Didn't want to see it get hurt again." Jane finished for her.

"No." Maura sighed. "It's wild. No one can take care of it. It has to take care of itself. It'll imprint on you, form a bond. What happens when that's ripped away? What happens when it trusts you and then it all falls apart?" She gestured towards the fox, made herself watch coldly as it began to limp away."It fends for itself. It always has, it always will. That's its nature. You can't change that."

She could feel Jane's eyes on her, but she kept them on the fox. Wished that she hadn't agreed to this consult. Wished she was deep in a medical text or a book. Most of all wished she wasn't who she was. She thought too deeply. Analysed too deeply. And when she felt, it was too deeply.

"How often do you tell yourself that?"

She turned to walk back to the car, shivering in the cold early morning air. "What." She sounded flat, tired, even to her own ears. Like she hadn't slept well for days. Months. Four, to be exact.

"How often do you tell yourself that love isn't an option?"

She snapped. She spun around, hurt, and anger and a bone-deep exhaustion colliding within her to make her snarl at Jane, glaring at her. "Maybe since you left me!"

And saw the naked hope flicker through Jane's eyes before the cops' mask closed it in.

Jane took a step forward, carefully, like she would with a suspect. Like she was afraid Maura would bolt into the woods.

"Maur, you never told me you wanted me to stay. And I thought...it was best not to push."

"I know what you thought." She snapped, pacing a little to the side and stopping as Jane angled her movements to match hers. "You thought, what, 'leave it, show her that I care by staying in the background, keeping my distance'. You were giving me space to work through it, right?"

"Right." Jane paced forward a step, her movements not so casual, her voice sharper. "You were hurting, Maura. God, you think I didn't know with everything in me, with every goddamn instinct that I have that you were hurting? I know you better than I know myself and I know exactly what was going on in the head of yours. And I caused that. I made you into that. And I couldn't fix it. And I couldn't stand the thought that being close to you again would make it worse. And y'know." She tried a smile, ended up swiping at her face angrily. "I didn't think I deserved to have you."

_Oh._ Maura struggled to hold into the anger, which was much easier to deal with than the pity and sorrow Jane's words caused. She swallowed hard, and managed to speak in a low tone. "Did you ever think that maybe I deserved to have you?"

"Um. What?" Jane's stunned expression made her stifle the urge to smile, something that hadn't happened in a long time.

"Jane. You are my best friend. Yes, there is no question that there is a lot of discussion to be had, and yes I was, and am, so angry with you. I have been through more emotions in the last four months than I've ever felt in my life. But you know what I have experienced most, the last four months?"

Watching her, Jane took another step forward, shook her head.

She shrugged, hopelessly. "I've been sad. I have been so...sad. I have felt exactly like that fox. No connections. No home." She looked up, into Jane's stare. "Some days the only thing I have wanted in the world is to laugh with you again."

Jane eased forward until she was standing in front of Maura. "Some days it's all I can do not to run downstairs and beg you to tell me how mistaken I am about the blood. Also known as The Reddish Brown Stain."

She willed herself not to back away, measured the urge to run, to stay mad, to stay angry. To stay numb. Weighed them against the urge to belong to someone again. To regain home. "How? Jane, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how this works."

Jane shrugged miserably. "I don't know. I just know that I've lost the one thing most precious to me and every day it kills me just a little bit more."

Maura nodded seriously. "Then it's probably in both our interests to fix this before we both end up on my exam table."

Jane choked out a half laugh-half sob, then tugged on Maura's scarf, bringing her closer. She met Maura's gaze briefly, then brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Jane." Maura whispered.

Jane's eyes moved from her hair back to her face, distracted. "What?" She murmured.

"What are you doing?"

Jane smiled crookedly, then slid a strong hand through Maura's hair, gently moving her forward. She kissed her forehead gently, then drew back. "Taming you."

Maura closed her eyes, trying to analyze the warm coursing through her. Considered Jane's words and what they meant. She opened her eyes to catch Jane watching her, dark eyes fathomless. She smiled, reached for the hand in her hair and gripped it hard for endless moments, before stepping back. No hugs. They were a while away from that, she knew. But not too far.

She broke out into a full-blown grin, feeling lighter, happier than she'd been in four months. "You know, if you wanted to tame that fox, you were trying the wrong method."

Jane laughed and scrubbed a hand over her eyes. She met Maura's gaze and grinned back. "So tell me, smartypants, how does one tame a fox? Wait, actually I don't care – if Korsak finds out I went nuts over a fox I'll never hear the end of it-"

She moved towards the car, moved back, searching Maura's face. "-I know we need to talk and this is going to take some time...but we'll be okay, right? We're good - we'll be good?" She reached out, swiped a thumb along Maura's cheek. "Because I can't go another four months without you."

Maura nodded, vaguely surprised to feel tears on her face. "Yeah." Jane searched her face for a moment, hesitated.

"What?" She asked.

"This is the first time I've seen, like hope. In your eyes. In four months...And..." Jane waved a hand. "It doesn't matter. Let's go! Place to go, bad guys to make suffer."

"Jane."

"Maura, I am now suffering from hypothermia."

"No, you're not." She replied automatically, then smiled at her friend as she followed her. "This is the first time in four months I feel hopeful."

Jane searched her face, then nodded. "I can work with that."

"You can work with that only if you buy me a latte." She shot back, and smiled at Jane's eye roll.

Maybe it was getting better, after all.

**A/N: Time. Is such a pain in the ass, but apparently heals ills and things. Not exactly sure what this is, or if this is stand alone, series, or bin material (meaning this is a small cry for help and feedback as always greatly appreciated.) Someone said to me recently that deep relationships are comprised of endless shades of grey - think Maura and Jane may take the cake after the Season 2 ending. Can't wait for it to come back!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: Do not own. But Janet Tamaro RT'd a blog of mine a few weeks ago about Rizzoli & Isles, which constituted a total geek-out-Sally-Field-you-really-like-me moment...so I'll take it. But would actually like Maura's couch too, at some point:)**

When she first got to know Jane, she wasn't quite sure why the other woman always sought her out. After they'd met and had a few polite but pointed disagreements while standing over a body, she'd assumed that this would be like every relationship she'd ever had with a law enforcement officer. They would try to hurry her, tell her how to do her job. They'd hound her to reach a conclusion because of their nature – they were in service to the living. They had to move quickly to find answers, because if they didn't odds were more people would end up in her realm.

They never understood that they clashed with her over her refusal to hypothesise, over her methodical and minute examining of flesh and bone and clothing, because she was bound in service to the person on her table - and not the ones who might still appear before her. A medical examiner and a cop, she firmly believed, served different masters, and she would be as stubborn and intractable as she wanted because she would not devalue the life that had lived within the bodies in her charge by giving them any less than her all.

She'd told Jane-well, _yelled_ this at Jane one day when she'd come stomping into her lab to harass her over the results of a sample. Jane's expression had darkened until Maura had seriously considered pushing the panic button hidden under the sink. She hated confrontation, hated marring the quiet, deep stillness of her lab. Hated the panicked beat of her heart and the adrenaline rush caused by the fight or flight response triggering. But she wasn't going to let the other woman stand there in _her_ domain and tell her what to do.

"Detective, you can either come back in three hours, at which point I will have a definite answer for you, or you can wait here, _without talking_, for three hours, at which point I will have a definite answer for you. Those are your choices. I suggest you pick one." She'd bent over her notes again, pretending to be supremely unconcerned, sneaking a gaze up at Jane now and then while she waited, terrified, for the inevitable explosion.

Jane had looked taken aback, furious. Then something in her gaze had sharpened as she focussed on Maura's left hand, cradling a clipboard. As quickly as the anger had come, it disappeared, and Jane sauntered over to hoist herself up onto a lab table.

As Maura's mouth dropped open in surprise at this blatant disregard for the sanctity of her lab, Jane raised her chin at her, challenging. "What if I want to talk?"

Still shocked that _anyone_ would dare just to sit on one of her tables like it was a _chair_, she'd blurted something that conveyed her disbelief that anyone would want to talk to the Queen of the Dead. All the officers knew what she was, and she had worked hard to accept that this was her role in the world– to be more comfortable with the dead bodies she encountered than with the live ones. "Why?"

Jane drummed her fingers on the table. "Because it's a slow day. And because you and I need to learn how to serve both sides. Tell me about your job."

She'd gestured through to her office. "Only if you get off my lab table."

Jane had jumped off, looking back at her with arched brows. "Thirty seconds. I totally won the bet."

She'd hurried after her into her office, her voice pitched higher than normal. "You were _betting_ on _me_?"

Jane threw herself onto a couch, grimacing as she tried to get comfortable. "People would find you interesting, Doctor, if you give them half a chance." She had flinched, tried to cover it. Jane noticed. "I'm sorry, Dr Isles. I'm better at working with guys – women tend to require...more tact, I guess."

Maura had laughed, and Jane had looked up, surprised. "Detective, I work with dead people all day. If there's one thing I don't encounter often or grasp easily, it's tact. Don't worry about it."

Jane nodded, an expression she couldn't place flickering across her features. She patted the seat beside her. "So, I'm Jane. Kind of stupid to call me Detective for three hours."

She nodded, gingerly sat on the corner of the couch next to Jane, watching her warily. "Maura."

Jane leant forward, bracing her arms on her knees. "So, tell me about you, Maur –" She broke off, her expression somewhere between fear and amusement. "Okay, first you're going to need to explain _that_ thing." She pointed to a statue in the corner.

Maura hesitated, but Jane just looked at her expectantly. "_That_ is a cast of The Walking Man, by Rodin. It's about reconsidering what is true, because sculptors at the time only did full-figure sculptures and therefore he was able to challenge-" She broke off, embarrassed, remembering that most people didn't care about the things she did.

Jane just nodded. "I guess you do the same thing, huh? You challenge what's generally accepted to be the truth by finding evidence to prove otherwise. Although, Maura, seriously, it's too creepy to keep in your office. It doesn't even have a damn head."

And something in Maura had relaxed. She could do this. She could use her knowledge instead of small talk – and Jane wouldn't judge.

They'd talked for the three hours until the results came through, and then Jane had blown out again. She'd figured that, perhaps, this was a ploy on Jane's part to gain her favour, to get her to cut corners, to make assumptions, to give results faster. People had tried before, so she made a policy of not trusting people.

But Jane had come back, seeming to show up just when she took a break, slouching on her couch and complaining about how uncomfortable it was and telling her about her co-workers, and her family, bullying her into telling her about her own. She'd begun to tease her, had laughed at Maura's tentative jokes, seemed to be genuinely happy in her company. Maura, for her part had been at first bewildered...and then had realised that Jane, too, was looking for a friend. After Hoyt, they'd started to go for a drink, or grab dinner-

"-Maura?" Jane was waving her hand in front of her face. "Earth to Maura, hello? The people need you, O Wise One."

She blinked, trying to reconcile the past with the present, where she and Jane were broken and the trust they were trying to rebuild was still tenuous. "Sorry. What did you need?"

Jane just shook her head slightly and sat down next to her on the couch. "Where did you go?"

She'd headed here to take fifteen after being up all night, and had ended up lost in memories. "I was thinking about the day I yelled at you."

Jane watched her for a second, reading her, then raised a brow. "Yesterday? This morning?"

She smiled and lightly tapped Jane's thigh, careful to keep her voice light to match. "When we spent all that time talking. After you bet on me."

Jane tapped her back, smiling slightly. "I always bet on you."

She hesitated, then tapped again. "I have a question. You were angry, and then you looked at my hand, and then you weren't. Why?" She drew her hand back, but Jane caught it.

"You are intimidating, Dr Isles, even if you don't realise it." Jane laughed slightly, shook her head. "I wasn't going to let you delay my investigation, but I was scared of you because you can do cold anger and supreme don't-screw-with-me confidence like nobody's business and I was damned if I'd go in afraid of you – so I went in angry."

Maura studied their joined hands. "I remember. Vividly."

Jane snorted. "Mm. But you have a tell."

Maura looked up, into Jane's amused eyes. "I do not."

"Do too." Jane raised their hands, turned Maura's so that her thumb and little finger were touching. "You do that with your left hand when you're nervous."

She laughed. Nervously. "I do not."

Jane just smiled, getting up and pulling her up, too. "Well, I figured if you were as afraid of me as I was of you, we'd both better get over it and start working together. Plus, you know all sorts of weird crap."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks." She yawned and stretched, then eyed Jane. "Get over it and start working together, huh?"

Jane met her eyes, held. "Yeah."

She nodded, then stepped forward to carefully tug on a strand of Jane's hair. "Only if you stopping sitting on my lab tables, Detective."

Jane met her gaze, and her hand came up to run down Maura's shoulder. A teasing gleam came into her eyes. "Nah. How would I win any bets?" She spun and walked through the door, grinning back over her shoulder.

Maura hurried after her, indignant. "You _still_ bet on me?"

"I told you. Always."

**A/N:** So Rizzoli & Isles is back and I've been trying to work it out, find the rhythm, figure out where they're going. They've surprised me with some things because I think they're trying to play to ratings a bit more now they've been picked up for another Season. But that heart, the soul that makes it special is still there. Maura has changed, in a good way – I think she stands up to Jane more now – she seems more sure of where the boundaries lie. I think I'll keep this as kind of a series of one shots but within the overall theme of them trying to repair their relationship and will probably go more into that push-pull coming up, mostly because I find it interesting as hell, so apologies if it bores everyone else to tears XD


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER:** Don't own. Not mine. It's one of those Look But Don't Touch situations.

They had a case. It was late. Jane was ranting in front of her board, she was perched on the corner of Jane's desk. Jane was tired, and she was tired, and her feet were killing her, and all she really wanted was a hot bath and a long hug. But despite the horrors of the last couple of days, she felt good.

This was part of who they were, she and Jane. They faced the horrors that other people perpetrated and they made them right. And tonight they were doing this together, in a way they hadn't over the last few months.

Eyes heavy, she watched as Jane wrote something on the board, cursing under her breath. Jane would stand, until she'd solved this and brought down her bad guy. She'd stand, until there were bars between the murderer and the people they sought to slaughter.

She stretched sleepily, caught up in contemplation and the rightness of standing again beside this friend of hers, who was so strong, so steady and true on behalf of others. She murmured, half to herself. "A knight is sworn to valour. His heart knows only virtue. His blade defends the helpless. His might upholds the weak-"

Jane cut her off, her voice sharp. "-_Thank you_, Keats, but we don't have time for poetry."

She blinked. "I wasn't-"

"-You were showing off. In case you didn't notice, you have two dead bodies in your morgue and I have the threat of three live ones joining them if we don't haul ass. So if you could do your job Maura, that'd be peachy, kay?" She half turned away from Maura as she spoke, back to her board.

Stunned, and suddenly wide awake, Maura catalogued points in her head. The rigid line of Jane's jaw, the way she'd kept worrying at the scars on her palms throughout the evening. The six empty coffee cups in Jane's trash can. Jane had been without sleep for at least 12 hours longer than she herself. Maura knew, beyond everything else, that Jane was scared of what the morning might bring them both, and she knew, the way she knew instinctively how to find answers in homicide cases where there hadn't been any before, that Jane hadn't looked her in the eyes as she spoke because she knew she was crossing a line.

She stood up.

Jane eyed her. "Where are you going?"

She raised a brow, spoke like she might to a cop she didn't know. "I'm going to do my job, Detective."

She moved towards the door.

"Maura, I-"

She didn't turn, but slashed a hand sharply to the side as she left, cutting Jane off. "-No."

She had to wait exactly fifteen minutes.

She sat at her desk, angry and hurt, pretending to read a report while Jane stalked into the room. She didn't move, didn't react. Just kept pretending to read.

Jane blew out a breath, raked her hair back.

She waited, eyes on the report in front of her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Jane came up to the desk. She covered Maura's hand with her own. "I was letting out my frustration on the one person I can count on to still be there once all the dust settles."

Maura waited a beat, then turned her hand over to grip Jane's. "I know." Jane's grip tightened on her hand, and she looked up to see the raw fear in Jane's eyes.

"Jane, what? What's wrong?" She snapped it out as she stood up, angled around the desk to stand in front of Jane, never losing her grip on Jane in her alarm.

Jane took a shuddering breath. "It's nothing. Nothing, Maur."

"Jane." She said it simply, calmly, but Jane seemed to pick up on the unspoken threat in her tone and gave a half smile.

"There. You wouldn't say _Jane_ in that tone of voice if you were really mad at me, right?"

She frowned, confused. "I am mad at you. You deliberately put me down." She knew Jane could hear the hurt, knew Jane was flinching from it, but she told her the truth, kept the hurt in her voice apparent. It wasn't so much that she couldn't lie to Jane...now, it was more that she simply did not have it in her. "You did it to make yourself feel better. And what's worse is it worked."

Jane grimaced, broke away to pace. "For a while. Like ten seconds until I saw your face. And now I'm more scared than I was before."

She spread her hands. "Why?"

Jane spun and paced back to stand in front of her. "Because I realised what I said might cause us to lose all the ground we've made. And going back to no Maura is something I can't handle right now." She shoved her hair back again, speaking to Maura's right shoulder instead of looking at her. "It's something I can't handle, ever."

She stared at Jane, thinking furiously. Maybe she wasn't the only one vulnerable, here. Maybe they both just needed to trust in the strength of what they had, instead of waiting for it to break.

"Dragonheart."

Jane's eyes flicked up to meet hers. "What?"

"The "poem" was from the movie Dragonheart. It's about knights and certainly is _not_ Keats. I was thinking of you when I spoke of valour. But you're certainly not the pop-culture bad-ass you think you are, Rizzoli." She moved to lean against her desk, tilted her head challengingly at Jane.

Jane stared at her, and some of the tension left her face, her body. She hesitated, then came to lean against the desk next to Maura.

"Finish the poem, Maur. I'd like to hear it. What was it? Mighty mouse upholds weaklings?"

She bumped Jane's shoulder with her own, accepting the silent apology. "His might upholds the weak. His word speaks only truth. His wrath undoes the wicked. That's it." She finished, then primly folded her hands.

Jane eyed her. "Yeah, well your wrath undoes _me_. Maybe that makes you a knight too, huh?"

She shook her head. "No. I believe I'm what is known as the sidekick."

Jane blinked at her a moment, then snorted. "No way."

"It fits." She insisted. "Mine is a supporting role, Jane. You only have to look to the annals of history-"

-"Do not even say that word, Maura. Ew."

She raised an eyebrow. Smirked. "What, history?"

Jane appraised her. "See? This is why no way. You are far too mouthy to be a sidekick."

She just hummed a laugh, and they sat in companionable silence. Jane nudged her. "Team?"

She nudged back."Team."

Jane shook her head. "Dragonheart, huh?"

She flushed."Mm-hmm."

Jane narrowed her eyes. "Out with it, Doctor Isles."

She huffed. "Frankie might have mentioned it a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't know to what he was referring. I researched it, in the event that it might come up again and I'd have a conversational gambit-"

She broke off as Jane stood up, then yanked her into a hug.

They stood there for endless moments, and Maura just closed her eyes and breathed her in.

When Jane's arms finally relaxed, she didn't draw back immediately. She shifted her position to run her hands in two slow circles along Maura's spine before easing away.

Maura kept her eyes closed until she felt Jane break contact, then met Jane's stare, unwilling to be the first to acknowledge that had been the first hug since...well, since everything had fallen apart, that day.

Unwilling to acknowledge just how much something that had been tense and coiled inside of her since they'd fought had relaxed at Jane's touch.

"I missed you." Jane said quietly

She smiled. She was suddenly exhausted, again. Her feet ached, and she wanted a hot bath. And coffee. Lots of coffee. But the best thing was, she'd gotten the hug.

"I missed you."

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the lovely reviews and PM's! On my wish list for Rizzoli and Isles this week is for Maura to stop choosing to date psycho-killers. That is all...Wait - Also, hope you enjoyed whatever the above is – have a great week.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Do not own. Nothing, nada. But would be cool to choose something out of Maura's office. Not the hand.**

"So, then he proposed we head to dinner. A little French restaurant by the water. Apparently the chef is a close friend." Maura spoke airily as she arranged a new vase of flowers on her dining room table, smiling as she recounted an encounter she'd had picking up groceries.

Then she frowned. Jane was slouched in a chair in the corner of her living room, looking out of the window - clearly not paying attention and clearly...frustrated? Angry? They'd skirted around talking about dates, dating for a while now. Ostensibly this was because her last date had tried to kill her, but even before then they'd kept it light, stuck to funny and weird anecdotes.

"Jane?"

Jane straightened. "Sorry. So are you going out with what's-his-name?"

"His name is Grant. And were you even listening to me? This man could be the love of my life and you couldn't care less." She spoke lightly, but she could see Jane pick up on the rebuke, could see anger kindle.

"Maur, this guy, this –_Grant_– is not going to be the love of your life. He's just a filler. You'll flirt and have fun...and I'll be oh-so-happy for you and then you'll break it off and then you'll move on to the next not-love-of-your-life."

Shocked, Maura tried to smile. "And isn't that my choice?"

Jane met her gaze. 'Yeah. But I have a choice about watching you go through all these guys, Maur. God, you don't even give them half of who you are and you sit there and smile and tell me how perfectly nice they are until you send them on their way." She hesitated, then raised a shoulder. "Don't you ever want something real?"

Maura looked back at her, confused. This was what they did. The funny-or-weird date stories were part of their routine, before the fight, before...everything. They'd shared loss and hope and horror and fear for each other. They'd lost faith and regained it together and they'd built a friendship on a foundation of mutual trust and respect... but they didn't do this. They didn't go deeper. She knew instinctively that this was a boundary line – one drawn at the edge of a steep cliff. They stayed back from the edge by mutual unspoken agreement and Jane was suddenly changing the rules.

She cleared her throat, spoke carefully "I'm not certain that real is possible. So I suppose I make do with what _is_ possible...tangible, in the hope that maybe I'll happen on something...well, someone to call mine." She tilted her head. "Why are you so angry?"

Jane pressed her lips together, indicating she knew they were treading a dangerous edge. She stood up and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Because he's not your person."

Maura blinked at the movement as well as the words. "My person."

Jane shrugged. "Yeah."

"Explain."

Jane shifted on the balls of her feet, then fixed her gaze on a point somewhere over Maura's shoulder, a trick Maura knew meant that she was nervous. "Your person. You know, the one you're supposed to be with, together forever, till death do you part yadda yadda yadda."

She raised a brow. "Yadda, yadda, yadda?"

Jane's eyes flicked over to meet hers and she scowled. "Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

She narrowed her gaze back. "Define person."

Jane shrugged again, too casual. "That one, I guess, that knows all of you, everything – all the lies you tell yourself and all the things you don't say. That person you _know _in a way that's completely terrifying..." She laughed a little. "...and as normal as breathing. That person you can be your whole self with - without judging it or analyzing it or locking it away..." She trailed off, twisted her hands hard together.

Maura took a careful breath. "Grant may not be that man...but don't I owe it to myself to find out? I need someone in my life that will love all of me, Jane. I need someone that wants to...fit."

Jane spun and paced. "But he doesn't fit with you! Can't you see that? Don't you know that he's never going to fit!" She looked frustrated and furious, although with Maura or herself, Maura couldn't determine.

Studying her, she could see that beneath the anger there was something else. Jane hid her fear well from everyone else, but she'd grown adept at reading this woman. She did what she normally wouldn't, because her heart was pounding and her mind was racing and she couldn't settle on any one thought except that she suddenly felt like they'd both stepped right to the edge of that cliff they'd been standing on the past few months.

"Why?" She snapped, and Jane stopped pacing to stare at her. "How the hell do you know if he'll fit or not? What evidence can you offer me that he won't? I work in absolutes, Detective. I can't work in theory, don't you know that by now?" She shook her head, angry that a pleading note had worked itself into her voice.

She'd meant to push, enough to garner a reaction. She wasn't prepared for Jane's face to crumple, just for a second, just long enough for Maura to raise her hand to wipe away tears that didn't come.

Jane set her jaw and Maura lowered her hand, watching as Jane closed her eyes, briefly, then looked at her. "Maur. It's that person who, if they were on their knees begging you for a second chance, just this once, you'd give it to them a thousand times – _ten_ thousand times. Because they're yours. And because you're theirs. _He_ doesn't fit."

Jane eyes were so serious, so full of meaning, that she couldn't look away, couldn't process that she was supposed to have a casual response ready. One that would place no onus on Jane and one that would allow them both to take a step back from this precipice they were about to fall over. That was the routine. One step together, two steps away. Ad infinitum.

She licked her lips. Watched Jane's eyes flick down to her mouth, then up again.

She cleared her throat, and her voice still came out husky. Nervous. "What if it was you, Jane?" She registered the sudden panic on Jane's face and spoke quickly "I mean, what if you had that person in front of you? And they were on their knees, pleading with you, _begging_ you to love them? What if that desperation and need for you made you turn from them?"

Jane held up a hand, indicating she was thinking. She kept watching Maura, cataloguing her as she'd seen her do a thousand times to the people she arrested. Her gaze lingered on Maura's left hand, where her thumb and little finger where pressed together, skipped along the lines of her body and rested once again on her mouth. Then Jane shook her head slightly, and gave a half-smile. "I'd say if I turned from them I probably wouldn't be worth it in the first place." She took a deliberate step towards Maura. "So what are you going to do, Maur?"

There was a dare in her eyes now, and Maura's thought processing issue suddenly returned full-force.

"Do?"

Jane grinned suddenly, taking another step towards her. Maura felt her stomach tighten inexplicably. "Yeah. About Grant."

Oh, that. "I suppose I'll find another person." She hesitated. Stuck a toe over the edge. "Any suggestions?"

Jane nodded slowly, and took another step, so that they were toe-to-toe. The dare in her eyes was still there, but as Maura watched, breathing too fast, unable to look away, the expression on Jane's face abruptly changed to concern.

"Maura...you're my best friend. I want you to choose who you want...and I want you to be happy. Who knows? Maybe this Grant guy _is_ what you want...maybe he's that person for you. And I'd be a sucky best friend if I kept you from that." She clenched her fists, and took a step back. She tried to smile and ended up looking miserable. "So you should date him. Call him. I'll...I'll get out of the way." She nodded once, oddly formal. "Have a good night, Maur." She walked to the door and was on the other side before Maura could even process what had happened.

She went to the window, watched Jane jog to her car, get in. She sat for a moment before pounding the steering wheel once.

Maura stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself, shaking from the shock of being yanked back from that unknown edge for the hundredth time.

She looked around at her living room, with its pretty mementos and uninterrupted clutter, exactly how she liked...wait. There were Jane's sneakers, dumped in a corner. Jane's beer on her counter. Jane's DVD's on her table.

She went into her bedroom. Photos of her and Jane on the vanity – the matching photo and frame, she knew, resided on Jane's dresser. Jane's night bag under her bed. The book on interrogation techniques that Jane had suggested she read was on her night stand.

She went into the bathroom noticed Jane's spare toothbrush had pride of place beside her own. She stared into the mirror, trying to analyse what exactly she had wanted to happen just now.

"My person." She muttered. How many times had she wanted to sink to her knees before Jane when they were fighting and beg for everything to be okay between them? How many times had she caught the quickly hidden anguish and desperation in Jane's face each time Maura deliberately froze her out, all those months ago?

She met her own gaze in the mirror. And how certain was she, now, that if she yanked Jane over the edge of the boundaries they'd placed on their friendship that she'd still have this woman? Jane, who had all of Maura whether she understood that or not.

Her cell beeped in her pocket. She pulled it out, to see a text from Jane.

_Wear the blue dress with the gold whatsits. And have fun. X_

Jane, in full-scale back-pedal mode. Maura grinned suddenly. She looked again at the toothbrush and laughed out loud. She already had her person.

She just had to convince her person of that fact.

**A/N:** I don't know. I had the person thing in my head as a random weird thing to explore but now I'm kind of curious to see how Maura is going to convince Jane XD. Have a great week, thanks as always for reading and for the reviews, you're all genuinely lovely. Can't wait until R&I comes back!


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine. Want, but don't have.

"Jane, sit down before you fall down." Maura snapped at her friend.

"I'm fine." Jane raked a hand through her dishevelled hair and jutted her chin out obstinately, continuing to watch the news from the middle of her living room.

It had been a long week for Jane, a long case – Maura had had limited involvement in this one but had heard all about it from Korsak this afternoon, who had dropped by her office to casually mention that Jane had been told in no uncertain terms that she was owed two days leave and she had better not show up at the office before Monday.

She'd arrived this evening to a frustrated, angry Jane, who had caught her criminals but needed to set up her court evidence, needed to ensure that once the cage door closed it stayed locked.

Maura just crossed her arms. Waited. Jane looked up from the news coverage of the case. "I have to work, Maur." She offered - a hint of a whine in her voice along with fatigue.

Maura just looked at her. "You have to sit, Jane. And you can either choose voluntarily to do so or I will employ other methods."

At that, Jane slunk over to her couch and threw herself down. "Considering the last time you employed "other methods" I didn't wake up for three days, I'm gonna sit. My decision entirely, just so we're clear."

Amused, Maura shook her head. "Those pills weren't that strong – you had pushed too hard. That's why you slept for so long."

Jane snorted, then patted the cushion next to her in invitation. "Two words, Doctor Isles. Horse tranquilizers."

She sank down on the couch, pulling a brush from her purse. "Turn around. Your hair looks like it should have things living in it."

Jane snorted, but turned her back to Maura obediently. "Well, one can't always look like the cover of Vogue, can one."

"Shut up." Maura started combing out the ends. "So tell me what's eating at you."

"You just told me to shut up. The two instructions cannot be followed at the same time."

Maura frowned at the back of Jane's head. Then leant in to murmur in Jane's ear. "If you would like to continue to be snarky, that's entirely your decision. I will point out however that I do know exactly where you're ticklish, and you do happen to be in a very. Vulnerable. Position." She returned to brushing, pleased to note the tips of Jane's ears were turning red.

"Fine." Jane groused, shifting slightly. "I just... I don't get this one. Man murders for money, to cover his debt. Totally get it; people have been killing for money since just about forever. But then his wife finds out, kills the guy that knows what her husband did, to cover for her husband. It's just...it's beyond me. I don't see why she'd do that."

"People operate out of fear or love." Maura said wryly, as she ran the brush through Jane's hair.

Jane shifted again, her shoulders tensing. "Yeah?"

"Mm-hm. It's where all our actions stem from, at the basic level." Maura kept the brush moving, long, even stokes, until Jane's hair was untangled and her shoulders were relaxed again. "Better?"

"Better." Jane agreed. "You've got skills, Maur."

She paused, then leant forward again. "You haven't even seen the beginning of my skills, Detective."

Jane went very still. "Are you coming on to me?"

Maura could feel the tension that was suddenly shimmering between them. She hesitated a beat. "Yes."

Everything was still. She knew her heart was pounding, she could feel her pulse vibrate against the tips of her fingers where she held the brush. She knew that she was breathing shallowly, that Jane was clutching one of the couch cushions so hard that her knuckles were white. That eventually one of them was going to have to say something. But she closed her eyes for a second, willing the moment to stay.

Once the stillness was broken, everything was going to change.

Over Jane's shoulder she saw her hands relax on the cushion. She didn't turn around. "Is it weird that I'm not entirely shocked?"

Maura took a breath, aware that time was moving again. And there was only one important question now. "Am I going to lose you?"

Jane turned quickly and yanked her into a hug so fast she dropped the brush, lost the line of thinking she was following. Jane spoke into her ear. "Just you try to lose me, Maura Isles. There's no way, okay? There's just no way."

She eased back, relief flooding through her, making it hard to form the next necessary words. "Jane... what I feel for you... it's extremely significant. But if what I'm offering isn't what you need, then that's acceptable." She smiled wryly. "God, Jane. Don't you know by now that the only thing I want for you is for you to be happy?"

Jane gripped her hands, smiled ruefully back. "That's funny. Don't you know by now that the only thing I need for me to be happy is you?"

Maura gripped back. "I know. I know that with all of my...what is it – guts. But you keep running, Jane. There are...boundaries, here that I don't know how to cross."

Jane squeezed their joined hands, then stood up, swiping at her face. "It's not as easy as clicking your fingers and suddenly everything is perfect, Maur. It's not as easy as kissing someone and all of a sudden it's hearts and flowers and puppies."

She raised a brow. "Puppies."

Jane glared at her. "Relationships are hard work, Maura."

"Yes," she agreed smoothly. "Look at ours."

She watched the surprise flicker over Jane's features, followed by another scowl. "Not fair."

She rolled her eyes. "If you're going to thow over-used sayings at me Jane, life's not fair."

Jane put her hands on her hips, spread her weight, like she was about to start a brawl. "What if I can't make you happy, Maur? What if I get so tangled up in you that we can't be friends anymore? What if personal and professional lines get crossed and I can't handle that? What if being a "lesbian couple" isn't something I'm good at? What if I disappoint you?"

Maura narrowed her gaze. "What if the loss of control we're both bound to experience isn't something either of us can handle? What if our reputations are compromised when this relationship inevitably gets out? What if I'm too...google-mouthed, for you? What if my tastes are too kinky – hell, what if _your_ tastes are too kinky?" She shrugged at Jane's surprise. "It's not like we talk about it, Jane." She looked at the woman in front of her, who was so poised to fight but didn't realise that she was fighting herself.

"What if I disappoint you?" She said quietly, watching Jane's expression change. "I have thought about everything you've just said, and all I can come up with is that I love you. Sometimes that will help, sometimes that will make things worse. But that's the thing we have in common." She smiled, tried for bright and confident. "You love me, too, and you know it."

Jane opened her mouth to retort, then shook her head. Started to laugh. Maura eyed her warily. "What's so funny?"

Jane spread her hands, looking at Maura affectionately. "Us. No one annoys me like you do, you know that?"

Maura stood up to face her, instinct telling her she was going to have to make a point sooner or later. She folded her arms. "Likewise, I'm sure."

Jane grinned. "And now you're getting defensive."

"Am not."

"Are too – look, Maur, you can't just spring seducing someone on a person."

She folded her arms tighter. "Why not?"

Jane paced a couple of steps nearer, tentatively touched her shoulder. "Because it takes time for someone to get used to the idea of being seduced."

Maura narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jane's fingers were tracing small, anxious patterns on her collarbone. "I would have thought they'd be flattered."

Jane grinned, but her eyes were serious. "You would be right...but they'd also be scared."

Maura closed her eyes briefly. Of course. This was what it always came down to. She made a good pretend human being, but she was too awkward, too cerebral, to pass for long. No wonder Jane was terrified of taking that next step. She was just looking for a polite way to say no, thank you.

Maura took a breath, forced herself to meet Jane's gaze. "Of course. I'm sorry Jane, I should have anticipated. Most people do find me intimidating romantically, and I- forgot... I would never want you to feel uncomfortable – I didn't realise you are looking for a way to say no." She shrugged, forcing a smile, feeling Jane's hand tighten on her shoulder. "You know me, social moron."

She made to step away, already preparing to offer to get Jane a beer from the fridge, offer a path back to normalcy. Already preparing to get through another half hour before she would politely excuse herself, go home and fall apart at the notion that she'd ever thought Jane could love her in that way.

Jane tugged her back. "You are a moron." She studied Maura for a moment, then shook her head. "Ma used to say that it was amazing I'd become a detective considering I never could see what was right in front of my face."

Maura frowned, completely lost. "I don't understand."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Clearly, Little Miss Romantically Intimidating. Jesus, Maura, you're about as intimidating as a box of Cheerios."

She glared at Jane. "I'm sure I would find that insulting if I knew what that meant."

Jane smirked. "Probably. But I'm not scared of you." She paused, tilted her head, considering. "I'm not scared of you except when you wear that red dress that doesn't have a back. But I'm more scared of _me_, Maur."

She studied Jane, who looked smug and nervous at the same time. There was something under her casual words, and if she could just hear herself think past her own adrenaline rush and the thudding of her pulse in her ears... And then she understood, finally, what Jane was trying to say. "You want me."

Jane swallowed, then nodded, hesitantly. "I want you. Jesus, I more than want you." She backed away from Maura to pace. "But I've never done this before, and I've never had so much to lose by taking the next step here."

Still stuck on hearing Jane say the words, Maura struggled to focus. "So what are we saying here? I should be your friend, but I shouldn't...go further? I should stop?"

Jane huffed out a laugh. "Don't for god's sake stop, Maur. But this isn't going to be easy for me. And you've gotta give me a few days to get my head around this."

She thought a moment. "So I should or shouldn't wear the red dress?"

Jane groaned. "You're going to kill me."

Maura smirked, daring to take a step closer to Jane. "Probably not conducive to a healthy relationship."

Jane took a step back. "Time, Maur." She warned.

Nodding, Maura took a step forward. "Not too much time, Jane."

Jane took another step back, and almost fell into the fireplace. "I'm not afraid of you."

Meeting Jane's eyes, Maura smiled innocently. Taking another step forward, she placed a light hand on Jane's side. "I have the romantic intimidation level of Cheerios, remember? But you have a little something on your face, right-" She leaned in slowly, breathed in the scent of Jane's shampoo. Kissed her, just long enough for her to feel the urge to run her hands along Jane's spine. Just long enough for her to feel the quick, nervous rise and fall of Jane's side under her hand slow and deepen.

"-There," she breathed, meeting Jane's gaze as her eyes opened, knowing that her own were half-lidded and dark.

Jane closed her eyes again briefly, then gently tugged on a strand of Maura's hair. "Not fair."

Maura took a step back, knowing that anything more tonight would hinder, rather than help. She gave Jane an impish smile. 'Life's not fair, Jane. I'm going to go home and think about all of the ways I bother you. I see I will need to work on getting under your skin."

Jane raised a brow. "You're always under my skin."

"Good. I plan on being there a while." She shot back, smiling, feeling smug and satisfied.

Jane accompanied her to the door. They stood in the threshold a moment, watching each other.

"Nothing's changed, right?" Jane ventured, finally.

Maura shook her head gently, knowing Jane was looking for reassurance but refusing to allow her to hide. "Nothing and everything, Rizzoli."

She watched Jane take a breath, then take a deliberate step towards her. She backed up, reluctantly stepping outside. "I think I need to go. Baby steps, Jane." She turned towards her car with a mischievous smile on her face, waiting for it, counting down. Three. Two. One.

"Doctor Isles."

She turned. Jane leaned nonchalantly in the doorway, but there was nothing casual in her expression. "Yes, Detective?"

"I bet you're feeling pretty smug right now, huh?"

She tilted her head coyly. "Possibly."

Jane gave her a feral grin, and instinct told her she'd better start worrying, _tout de suite_. "You should probably start thinking about what exactly is going to happen to you when I get over being afraid of being seduced."

Jane grinned as Maura just blinked at her, stunned into silence, then shut the door.

Maura walked to her car, annoyed that that, damn the woman, now she _was_ thinking about it. What was that expression Korsak was so fond of? "I do believe I've created a monster."

**A/N: **Relationships are hard. It's not like in the movies – it's one step forward, two back sometimes but if it's worth it, you walk the path. But sometimes you get a moment or two that turn out to be perfect, don't you think? Thanks for reading and thanks for reviewing and I hope you all have a fantastic week XD


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: **Still no. Any piece that someone is giving away for free I'll take. Even the P.U.K.E. running leotard thing.

Maura Isles, loathe as she was to admit it, was getting antsy.

Her kissing Jane, Jane kissing her back, Jane looking at her with that look, that infuriating look that she could never decipher but trusted in absolutely... Jane's almost non-existent appearances in her lab the last four and a half days.

A litany of images, of thought and emotion and gut-wrenching terror wound around and around her head and her heart and all it did was produce another worry; that this was the final proof that she couldn't separate her head and her heart when it came to Jane. That if Jane went she'd be missing a necessary part of herself.

She'd read the studies on phantom limbs while she and Jane weren't speaking. A disquieting sense of familiarity with the symptoms had been in the back of her mind ever since.

Jane was running scared, she was sure of it. The irritating thing was Maura couldn't seem to pull on her usual mask of smooth professionalism, couldn't stop the fear and the questions becoming the backdrop to her daily routine.

Because, everything, _everything_ came back to Jane. She couldn't stand how vulnerable that made her feel.

Maura took a huge gulp of the coffee she'd made herself. Jane hadn't picked one up for her like she normally did –

"-Stop it!" She snapped it, raking her hair back so that it fell back out of place. Everything was out of place.

"Stop what?" An amused voice enquired.

Jane stood in her office doorway, two coffee cups in hand, giving her that look Maura knew meant she'd figured something out about Maura but wasn't going to let Maura in on the secret.

She wasn't up for banter. She couldn't face anything but the truth today. "Where have you been?"

Jane raised a brow, strolled forward to place a coffee cup on her desk. "Playing basketball with Frost, _Mom_."

Irked, she ignored Jane's offering and took another deliberate sip of her own. "How nice for you."

Jane's mouth twitched even as her eyes narrowed to focus on hers. "What? Didn't I fill out one of your three hundred page lab request forms incorrectly? Did I not grovel appropriately to Senior Criminalist Chang or one of your other minions? Was I supposed to babysit for Bass? Which, by the way, is not much more fun than watching Frost style his buzz cut." She paused, considered. "Or bra shopping with my Mother."

_You haven't been here. I kissed you and you kissed me back and then you ran away._ She looked away. "Nothing."

Jane eyed the space between them, then took a step forward. "Yes. Something, Maur."

She raised her chin mulishly, then stood up. "Nope. I need to go and go herd my minions. Have a nice day."

Jane caught her arm as she strode past her. "Maura."

She met Jane's concerned look. Struggled between staying anxious and confused, hurt and angry, and taking that easy step to their old routine. She took a slight step away, steeling herself as she saw Jane register the movement. _The old routine won't work until we both acknowledge that something has changed._

"Jane, for four and a half days straight I've waited for you to come down here and acknowledge that the other night happened. And for four and a half days straight you've been down here a grand total of three times looked like a deer caught in the headlights for the entire duration of the visit and refused to have any kind of conversation with me, and then run away again. I've emailed you twice asking you to lunch, which you haven't responded to. You clearly are having...issues, and while I'm trying to understand that I also am having ...issues."

She glared at Jane, who was biting the inside of her lip, which meant that Maura sounded like an idiot. "And said issues don't make me amenable to being in the same room as you right now."She pulled her arm out of Jane's grasp, yanked futilely when the grip tightened. "Let me go, Jane."

"In a second." Jane said quietly, keeping her hand steady on Maura's arm. "You need to hear a couple of things, and I need to say a couple of things...and then you can go herd cats, people, cows, Ma, Frankie, whatever, okay?" She gave her a hopeful grin.

Maura tried to stop the smile, failed, and then pinned Jane with a glare. "I don't herd cats, Detective. Or your Mother for that matter."

Jane nodded seriously. "Duly noted, Doctor." She shook Maura's arm. "Come on, Maur. Hear me out. Don't be mad." She gave Maura her patented puppy dog look. The one which generally caused her to do all manner of things just to get Jane to stop it.

"I'll hear you out, Jane. You can't tell me not to be mad." She warned, already trying to hold on to anger which didn't seem so important, anymore.

Jane held her gaze. "Okay. For the past four days I've been wandering around with you in my head, and I've been trying to reconcile Best Friend Maura with Scary Hot Maura, and both Mauras, to be honest, are freaking me the hell out. Because I don't want to lose one at the expense of the other...and because I don't know how to deal with both of you, anymore." She sighed. "And I'm sorry. I'm being an idiot and we all know how much tolerance I have for those."

Maura frowned, trying to hear what Jane was saying. "You think I'm different people?"

"No, Maur, you're the same person, but..." Jane hesitated, then snapped her fingers in Maura's face. "Okay yesterday, I came down, and you were wearing that freaking blue dress with the belt that makes you look really curvy and I was supposed to be hounding you for lab results and all I could think about was how much I wanted to touch you."

She couldn't help it. She smirked. "Really, Jane." She batted her eyes. "Tell me more about how irresistible I am."

Jane's eyes widened, and she huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. "I should have just told you then."

Maura shook her head, still smirking. "No, you shouldn't have."

Jane tilted her head. "Why?"

"Because I was very busy thinking about the fact that when you leave your hair down my brain seems to start automatically calculating ways to touch you when it should in fact be occupied with your lab results." She shrugged. "We're both up the same creek in the same canoe, Jane. But we need to deal with it. We can't run away." She met Jane's eyes, tried to keep her voice light. "We ran away from each other not too long ago. I don't want to go back to that, do you?"

Jane flinched. "No."

Maura nodded as something that was wound up tight inside her relaxed. "Well, then you need to deal with the fact you clearly want to jump my skeleton and then figure out how you're going to do it."

She waited nervously as Jane blinked in surprise, then met her eyes sheepishly. "You have a good point, Doctor." She casually punched Maura in the arm. "We okay?"

Maura smiled, squelching her disappointment in the casual gesture in favour of feeling less off-kilter with her friend. "We are. But I still need to herd my minions."

A hand on her arm stopped her._ "_Hang on, you have a tag."

She paused obediently. Caught her breath as Jane's finger trailed slowly down the nape of her neck, skimmed under the collar of her dress. A nail dragged slowly once, twice over her skin before sliding free.

"You have goosebumps."

She opened her eyes, looked over her shoulder to see Jane staring at her intently.

She managed a nonchalant shrug. "It's cold in here."

"Really." Jane gave her a slow smile, tinged with something darker. "In order to get goosebumps due to cold your body has to be actively working to reduce heat loss, Ms I-Keep-My-Office-Balmy-Twenty-Four-Seven. However, in order to get goosebumps due to intense emotion, up to and including sexual arousal, extreme temperature doesn't have to be a factor."

She blinked at Jane, nonplussed. "I...have absolutely no idea if that's factually accurate."

Jane smirked. "Welcome to my world."

Still shocked, making a mental note to do some research later, she frowned. "Why on earth would you know that about goosebumps?"

Jane smiled again, this time a bit sheepishly. "See, there's this girl I'm seeing. She's pretty much got all the Google on anything to do with sex so I thought I'd better catch up." She held up her coffee cup in a toast to herself. "In between freaking the hell out, of course."

Maura nodded seriously. "Of course."

"I figured I'd better start at the beginning. Which, I guess, is goosebumps." Jane reached out again, tucking back the loose strands of hair that had fallen around her face. Eyes on her task, she hesitated, asked again. "Are we okay, Maur?"

She considered Jane and the look on her face. Considered that the fear and the desire, the concern and affection, and love she'd seen there probably matched her expression fairly accurately.

She took a couple of steps back to her desk and retrieved the coffee Jane had brought her.

"To the beginning."

Jane clunked their cups together. "To the beginning."

**A/N:** I think I rushed that last chapter. I know, I know, suspense of disbelief and all but I'm not a huge fan of:

"I love you."

"Really? Okay, let's totally make out!"

Then I totally wrote that. So I've been trying to get my head around my own writing, which happens most hours. Cue: Maura freaking out. Jane freaking out. All freaking out, all the time. Have a great week, all, and thanks Oh So Much as always for all reads/reviews, I very much appreciate that you take the time to do so:)


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine. Not even a smidge (smidgeon?)

Maura watched Jane over the remains of their shared dinner. Jane had invited her over after work, and the formal, half-shy way she'd phrased the invitation had Maura slightly concerned, and intrigued.

By the time they'd worked their way through the meal Jane had laughed a little too hard at her jokes, managed to spill a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and twisted her paper napkin into a shredded abstract sculpture. Maura had grown tense, waiting for whatever it was Jane was working herself up to.

"Maur, if you keep eyeballing me like that I'm going to throw your fancy French bread at you."

She bristled. "I wasn't _eyeballing_ you. I was looking at you. There's a difference."

Jane leaned back in her chair and smirked at her, some of the tension leaving her body. "You were so eyeing me."

She huffed. "I was not."

Jane shrugged. "Yeah, you were."

"Was not."

Jane appraised her. "You were doing that thing you do when you think you have the power to X-Ray me with your eyes. I'm being treated like an abnormally large particulate. In my own home, no less."

She glared at Jane, trying to ignore the urge to laugh."I don't X-Ray people with my eyes."

"No, you don't, but you think you do." She pointed her fork at Maura. "It's a serious problem and I think we need to get it checked out."

She gave up. "Fair warning, I'm about to throw something at _you._"

Jane raked back her hair, then smiled innocently at her. "What, as a guest in my home? Maura Isles, I'm surprised at you."

She smiled angelically back. "I brought tiramisu. I can unbring it. There's still time."

They stared at each other, Maura struggling not to smile until she saw Jane's lips twitch. They broke out into laughter. Jane waved her mutated napkin in surrender. "Not fair. You know my weakness."

Maura batted her eyes at Jane, watched the laughter fade into something more focused, intent. "I know several of your weaknesses, Detective."

Jane held her gaze for a moment, then looked away, a faint blush colouring her features. "God, it took so long to get here, didn't it?"

She didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Yeah, it did. But I like to believe it was inevitable, in a way. Everything runs in straight lines, Jane. You just need to get the obstacles out of the way."

Jane snorted. "It doesn't feel like that to me. It feels like my life was full of things that didn't make sense, and then we became friends and then piece by piece all the things that fit the most added up to you." She stared at her hands. "But the piece that makes the most sense, it's... sometimes the things that are best for me take a while for me to process." She raised her head to look directly at Maura. "I'm sorry this has taken so long, Maur."

She smiled at Jane, unwilling to let this night involve sorrow or recrimination. "We're both assholes, Jane." As Jane blinked at her, surprised, she continued, raising a brow challengingly. "And everything does go in straight lines. You find the evidence that matches the crime, it leads to an arrest, it's simple." She stood up to get the tiramisu from the fridge, hoping that Jane wouldn't catch the flush she could feel creeping up her neck.

Jane rose to follow her into the kitchen. "Come on Maura, you don't really believe that. Evidence gets overturned, sometimes it doesn't fit. You know that A plus B doesn't always equal C." She paused, then paced towards her. "Take us, for instance.'

Maura studied her. Smiled sweetly. "I think that you're very simple, Jane. See bad guy, arrest bad guy." She smirked at Jane. "Insult bad guy, go drink beer. A plus B equals C."

Jane raised her brows, stepped up close. "Oh, we're feeling funny tonight, are we?"

Maura just grinned back. "Correction. We _are_ funny tonight."

"Well, what about you?" Jane countered, sending a deliberate gaze along Maura's body that made all thoughts of further teasing falter.

She swallowed. "Me?"

"You are definitely _not_ all straight lines, Maur." Jane reached out, delicately traced a curl that fell over her shoulder.

She took a breath, feeling excitement and nerves gather in the pit of her stomach. Tried valiantly to remember the gist of their conversation. "Well, if you're talking about physiology, it's well determined that not everyone can have a beanpole figure like _some_, and that curves are-"

She broke off as Jane eased forward, threaded a hand through her hair. She met Maura's gaze, and she felt the spark all the way down her spine. "Curves are what?"

Maura blinked, lost. "Um. There."

Jane nodded seriously, keeping Maura's gaze. Maura caught the spark of fear, saw it change to desire. Ceased to care as she felt Jane trace a slow path down her side, along her hip. "They sure are."

Maura closed her eyes involuntarily, then opened them to meet Jane's amused, curious look."Do you suppose that you could kiss me now?"

Jane's eyes dropped to her mouth, then quirked a brow at her. "Impatient, Doctor Isles?" She murmured.

She set her jaw, knowing that Jane needed to run this particular show but driven to distraction by how _annoying_ she was being. "Well, if you came here to discuss physiology, _Detective_ I'm happy to-"

She broke off as Jane pulled her forward into a kiss. Felt the warmth of Jane's mouth and the way they fit together. Felt her pulse start to pound, and the nerves being replaced by a strong desire to ensure Jane was just as lost as she in this moment...No. She broke the kiss, stared into brown eyes turned dark and half-lidded. "I found you." She breathed.

Jane rested her forehead against Maura's for a moment, then trailed her lips to Maura's ear, where she bit gently.

Maura's hands tightened in Jane's hair in reaction as Jane whispered roughly "We found each other." And pulled her back under.

She was aware only of Jane leading her back to the couch, awkwardly negotiating the apartment between kisses. Of laughing as Jane pulled her backwards over the arm to lie against her. By unspoken agreement they kept it slow, kept sex out of the equation until they'd figured out this new territory.

Sometime later, as they lay tangled on the couch and Jane's nails slowly dragged the length of her spine, she murmured against Jane's neck "We make sense, Jane."

Jane's hands stilled, then flattened against her back, molding her, pressing her closer. "Yeah. Yeah we do."

**A/N:** Statement: It makes me nervous trekking into relationship territory because I want to give them new stuff to tackle but still keep them "them." Will try to keep nerves in check in coming chapters by consuming much cookies and cream icecream.

All reads/reviews/comments/favourites are a very nice validation of the weirdness that comes out of my brain – I'm always surprised/stoked to see the story stat numbers go up and even more surprised/stoked that you guys take time to comment in such funny and lovely ways – thank you. Have a great week!


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER:** Not my concept, characters or premise. But have borrowed and will play with nicely.

"Maur."

"What." She didn't look up from her microscope, annoyed and tired. Frustrated by the slide telling her that Jane's instincts were wrong. Frustrated that her impulse was now to go with Jane's instincts rather than what the evidence said in black and white.

"I'm busy, Jane."

Though she couldn't see it, she knew Jane was crossing her arms, planting her feet. "And I'm not?"

She sighed. It was 1 a.m.; neither of them had slept the last 24 hours. Her tendency to work through the night on difficult cases meant the lab was deserted and the only light came from her workstation. Turning to look at Jane, she could tell the shadows on her face weren't solely from the light. "Since my being busy is usually derived from your workload, I'm quite aware you're busy too." She registered the flicker of hurt, quickly hidden, in Jane's face, and softened her tone. "It's been a long day."

Jane's mouth quirked up. "I keep telling myself to stay away but then your voice shows up in my head telling me to stop being an imbecile." She ran her gaze deliberately over Maura. "So really, it's your fault I keep interrupting you."

She blinked, then caught the tease in Jane's eyes and chose to ignore the latter part. "An imbecile."

"Yup. And I don't even know what that is except I'm pretty sure you're not telling me I'm Queen of the May."

She frowned. "Jane – Queen of the May is a tradition –"

Jane cut in, rolling her eyes. "I know, Google, I just meant even when you're insulting me in my own head I don't understand you."

She glared at Jane, still irritable, about to make a sharp remark. Then she noted the way Jane's hands rubbed against each other, noted again the shadows under her eyes. "Well, you're providing a good demonstration of an imbecile at the moment." She quirked her lips as she said it and Jane's eyes flicked up to meet hers. The relief in them made her feel guilty.

She tilted her head, studying Jane. "Why were you telling yourself to stay away?"

Jane grimaced, blushing a little. "You'll think I'm stupid. And then provide facts to back it up."

Maura flinched, feeling her irritation return. Felt a small measure of ice-cold panic worm its way down her spine. "Is that really what you think of me? That I'm so cold-hearted that I'd do something like that to someone I love?" She turned back to the microscope, trying to adjust the slide through the tears, angered by the fact that she was crying. She felt fatigue and ill-temper rise up and suddenly all she wanted to do was go home and sleep for a week. "I really am busy, Jane. We should talk at another time. "

She could feel Jane's uncertainty, was both fiercely glad she'd caused it and hated herself for turning cold. Jane couldn't reach her when she froze her out; Maura knew she'd retreat, then come back to circle anxiously with inane remarks and half-comments, all the while pretending she wasn't, until Maura let her back in. It was their routine.

She heard the door close, and let her shoulders slump, her hands stilling on the controls. She didn't look up. Jane had left and she was startled to find that she couldn't find it in herself to be glad. She couldn't think why she should be on the verge of tears because Jane was just following the pattern-

"-I hate it when you do that."

She jumped, spun around. Jane was leaning against the closed door, watching her. "I thought you'd gone."

Jane ignored her. "You shut me out, you...you deny our friendship. You deny _us_, Maur. It's like you suddenly become an island, like you need to prove you don't need anyone – that you don't need anyone to touch you." She moved, deliberately pacing to stand in front of Maura, her tone mild but her eyes challenged and held Maura's.

Maura inched back into the table, her chin rising when Jane stepped forward into the space she'd created. "What do you want, Jane?"

"You."

She wanted to roll her eyes, wanted to show Jane that she wasn't having any effect on her, that she hadn't breached the shield Maura had spent years building around herself, but Jane chose that moment to move into her, her body aligning with Maura's so that they were barely touching.

She closed her eyes. "Let me rephrase." She was annoyed her voice came out, lower, hoarse. She refused to give Jane the satisfaction of clearing her throat or meeting her gaze. Knew she'd find that particular combination of mischief and warmth that got under her skin with distressing regularity if she did. "What are you doing, Jane?" She tensed when she felt hands on her lab coat, undoing the buttons.

"Tell me you need me to touch you."

She opened her eyes to stare at Jane. The expression on Jane's face wasn't light, wasn't mischievous.

Jane took a deep breath, her hands stilling on Maura's coat. "Tell me you need me to touch you." She repeated, and this time Maura heard the plea, heard the meaning beneath the words.

She couldn't though, not yet. Not with the case and the hurt and the fatigue still swirling through her mind. "Why do you tell yourself to stay away?"

Jane eased back to look at her. "Because the real reason I came down here was to look at you." She rolled her eyes at herself. "Because sometimes I just need to...check, that we're still us. That we haven't changed." She smiled ruefully, and Maura caught the spark of heat at the back of her gaze. "Also, there's this little sound you make when I kiss you that honest-to-God...it drives me nuts, Maur, it really does." She brought up a hand to trace lightly along Maura's collarbone. "And do not even get me started on your perfume."

Maura frowned, trying to ignore Jane's fingertips as they moved back and forth along the collar of her shirt. "What's wrong with my perfume?"

Jane's touch changed slightly as she moved her hands to rake her nails gently along the back of Maura's neck. "It makes me want to bite you...here." Her fingers stroked along the join between collarbone and neck. "And here." Behind Maura's ear. "...Here." Her thumb found Maura's lower lip, pressed lightly.

Maura's fought to remember why she'd been angry as the sensations from Jane's touch sparked along her skin. "But you said-" She broke off as Jane's hands found their way under her shirt. Jane stepped close to speak into the shell of her ear.

"I know what I said, Maur. I'm tired, you're tired, and when we're tired we say things that we don't mean." She paused, then huffed a laugh that had Maura's hands clenching in reaction against the table. "And I'm a Rizzoli so my mouth is notorious for saying things I don't mean when I'm tired. I'll work on that, for you. But you need to show me that I can reach you...because even when you're an island, I love you."

She kissed Maura's temple and made to step back. Maura captured Jane's hands as she pulled them from under her shirt. "You want to know that you can reach me?"

Jane shrugged. "Yeah. You're the only thing that keeps me sane some days. And you're that only thing that makes me crazy the rest of the time."

Maura rolled her eyes. Stepped forward, into Jane's embrace. "No man is an island, Jane."

Jane pulled her closer, rested her head on Maura's shoulder. "Yeah, but whoever said that clearly never met you, Doctor Isles. Stubborn is your middle name. As well as annoying. Maura Stubborn Annoying Google Isles." She yelped and shifted as Maura's hand poked her side. "Hey! Payback is a bitch, Maur."

She smiled into Jane's neck. "I need to you touch me, Jane."

She felt Jane still, tense in expectation. "Yeah?"

She eased back, smiled at the look of absolute terror warring with blatant desire on Jane's face. "Yeah. Take me home."

**A/N:** Pull back, push forward, pull away...wonder why you went. Everyone is motivated by fear or love – but it's so human to mix them together, right?


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER:** Still don't own, although would love to write for. Would definitely be my top Mr Burns "excellent" moment, apart from maybe being put in charge of ALL the cookies.

They walked in Jane's door at 2am, and stood facing each other in the light reflected from the street. Maura could see the knowledge that they were caught on the edge of something new in Jane's eyes. Knew they were both floundering, drowning, going down for the third time. Taking a breath, Jane reached out to toy with the ends of Maura's hair, giving her that half-smile that always managed to get under her skin, make her want against all reason and logic.

Suddenly nervous, caught in the heady space between exhaustion and extreme awareness, Maura stepped back, took measured paces through Jane's living room to sit on the couch in her usual position.

After studying her for a moment, Jane followed to sit beside her."Christ, it's been a long day."

Maura clutched at this familiar gripe, nodding her agreement. Anything to hold on. Anything to provide the illusion of firm footing in this moment when she felt anything but steady. "Yes, it has."

Jane gave her that half-smile again, mixed with understanding. "Too long?"

Maura stared at her hands, trying to find the words for how terrified she was. This bond had become more important to her than she'd ever imagined when they started to walk this road. They'd lost and found each other again and again; and every time she'd sworn she'd never risk it again. Yet here they were, playing with something neither of them could quantify, that neither one of them could hold alone. She twisted the bracelet on her left wrist, watched it catch the light from the street.

"Maur." A hand reached to cover her bracelet. She looked up to meet Jane's eyes, tried a reassuring smile. Watched concern flicker into Jane's face.

"No."

"Then c'mere." Jane's hand tugged, guiding her up and over so Maura was straddling Jane's lap, facing her. Maura settled herself against Jane, noted for the umpteenth time how strong she was, how warm she felt.

Jane smiled at her. "You know, I can't remember the last time I've been this exhausted and this wired all at once. Guess that's the thing with having a gorgeous, amazing encyclopedia in your lap. Gives you an adrenaline rush."

Jane moved her hands under Maura's shirt, raking slow lines as she spoke. Maura fought valiantly to keep focused on what Jane was saying, but with each pass across her skin another portion of her concentration switched allegiance to the sensation.

"Maur." This time Jane's voice held amusement, her eyes a wicked glint.

"Yup." She fisted her hands on the cushion behind Jane, trying not to squirm. Trying not to lose control.

"Define Newton's Third Law of Motion for me."

She frowned at Jane, suspicious. Jane just met her gaze blandly, playing her hands along Maura's lower back. Maura twitched in response, then cleared her throat. "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction."

Jane nodded, moving her hands up to rake her nails lightly down Maura's spine. "Huh. That's interesting."

Maura cut off the moan rising her throat. Couldn't stop her hips moving into Jane's. "Why?"

"Because I've always been interested in studying equal and opposite reactions."

Maura frowned. "No, you haven't."

Jane grinned."Oh. Well ,maybe only when it comes to you. See..." Jane's hands skimmed lightly up her thighs, sending goosebumps in their wake. "When I touch you all sorts of fascinating things happen..." She drew her thumbs just under Maura's breasts. Stroked lightly back and forth, back and forth. Maura struggled to keep her head, keep her breathing normal. Lost the battle as Jane drew her touch along Maura's stomach, her ribs. Maura made a small sound, moved her hands from the cushion to Jane's shoulders. "And here..." Jane murmured. Her fingers ran down, down. Traced the line of her belt.

Lost, Maura just watched, her breathing hitching as Jane undid her belt. Stopped. Frowned up at her innocently. "Did you want to go to sleep now?"

Even feeling like she was going to leap out of her skin, like the only thing propelling her from one moment to the next was Jane's hands on her, she managed to glare at Jane. "So help me Jane if you stop..."

Jane looked far too pleased with herself for Maura's liking. "What reaction would you call that, Doctor?"

Quelling the urge to laugh, to acknowledge this woman who could look through innumerable fingerprints and still find hers, she took Jane's hands, anchored them with her own to the couch.

Watched Jane's eyes darken as she rocked slowly, deliberately into her once, twice. And kissed her, her mouth sliding teasingly over Jane's until Jane yanked her hands free and into Maura's hair, and she was gone.

The next thing Maura was fully aware of, lying under Jane on the floor, was how well they fit.

She leaned forward and traced her lips along Jane's neck, smiling as Jane's hips moved slightly in reaction. "Desire."

Jane groaned, and Maura squeaked as she traced a thumb along her ribs. "Maur. Enjoy the moment. What could you possibly desire after _that_?"

She smiled. "That was the reaction."

Jane pulled her head up to look at Maura appraisingly. "Yeah, well if it had been shock or horror I'd be in my nice, comfortable bed. How did I let you talk me into doing this on the _floor_?"

Maura's mouth dropped open. "Me? You're the one that said it would be just like yoga."

Jane's mouth twitched, and she dropped her head to Maura's shoulder, snorting a laugh into her neck. "I can't believe you fell for that."

Maura poked her. "_I_ can't believe I fell for that. I think you mangled my brain."

Jane raised her head again, her eyes drifting down to Maura's mouth. "Is that a technical term? Brain manglement?"

Maura studied her a moment. Gave Jane a slow smile, watching Jane's eyes glaze over slightly. Pulled away just before their lips touched. "I have a point to make about Newton's Third Law."

Jane groaned. "Of course you do."

She eased herself back just enough to lock eyes with Jane. "All forces exist in pairs."

Jane gently removed the hand she had tangled in Maura's hair to curve along her cheek. "Yeah? You think we're one of those pairs?"

Maura turned her head to kiss Jane's palm. "I do."

**A/N: **I love the idea that Jane knows Maura well enough to seduce her with physical law. Also, thanks so much for the reads and kind, funny, lovely reviews - you guys just rock. Have a great week.


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER:** Wish they'd come back on the TeeVee. Oh yeah. Not mine.

Maura sat staring into her fireplace, watching the flames flare. Watched the wood blacken and burn. Something once strong and mighty reduced, diminished, so that she might be warm.

"_Queen of the Dead? Yeah, I know her. When she walks past I swear to God the temperature drops." A locker clanged shut, and she shrank back, just a little, towards the door._

"_I know, right? She freaks me out, the way she talks about the vics. She's about as warm as one of her corpses."_

"_Don't let Jane hear you say that, you know she's got rank on you. She'll make you pull late shifts for a month." Anger flared and faded, replaced by fear. If she said anything now, Jane might suffer._

"_Yeah, yeah. She's just creepy, is all. I guess to do what she does you've gotta be born without a heart." On the heels of anger came resignation. This was all she'd ever be to some. Featureless, emotionless. Worthless._

She'd wanted to make use of the Department gym this morning, a rare occasion. She'd felt the need to just to stretch, run. To find the place where her aching body met a serene, alert mind. She'd stepped into the locker room to change, overhead a conversation in progress between two younger, female cops.

She'd normally have confronted them, pulled out some serene yet pointed comment, flashed a bright, confident smile to really startle them. But for some reason she'd hesitated. She'd stepped out of the room before they could see her, had started her day in the morgue instead. Because clearly that was where she belonged.

Their words had threaded themselves through her mind as the day wore on, colouring her actions, sparking irritation one moment, picking away at her sense of self the next. She'd been a Medical Examiner long enough to reconcile herself to the fact that people were uncomfortable with her. That she made people uneasy long before they ever saw her, never mind if they talked to her or not. That her vocation generated emotion, the primary one being fear. She was smart enough to see that her personality was the icing on the cake. She was weird. People had rallied collectively against what they feared, what was _weird_ for millennia.

But sometimes she just wanted to forget what was logical. Sometimes she wanted to indulge in hope that people would look beyond what she did to who she was.

Locker room conversations. She sighed, poked at the fire with the stoker. She supposed she should be used to them by know.

"I think the fire's dead, Maur." Jane's amused voice sounded behind her.

She turned to see Jane dumping her bag, dropping onto the couch. "How was your day? Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I got caught up."

Jane curled her legs under her. "My day? My day was great. I got a break on the Kaufmann case, I beat Frankie at the inaugural weekly office chair relay, and my girlfriend is lying to me. You?"

She focussed her gaze on Jane's left ear. "I'm not lying."

Jane snorted."You also don't apologise for not replying to my texts unless you're feeling guilty. Which means you weren't caught up. Ergo – liar, liar pants on fire."

Startled, Maura looked down. "What? They are not on fire. Jane, that's really not funny."

Jane grinned at her. "It's funny for so many, many reasons." She threw a cushion at Maura. "Tell me what's up with you, or I'll beat it out of you."

Maura caught the cushion before it suffered an untimely death in the fire. "Jane, domestic violence is- mmfph." She picked up the second cushion that had hit her in the face and glared at Jane. "These are three hundred dollars. Each."

Jane just smirked. "Would you like to bet on how quickly I can ruin a grand's worth of cushions or would you like to tell me about your day? It's entirely up to you."

She hugged the cushion closer. "Do you ever call yourself names?"

Jane tilted her head. "Does doofus count?"

"Anything that means something bad, to you. Fat, ugly...emotional cripple. Lots of people who have been called those things by others tend to start to include these words in their internal dialogue with themselves."

Jane nodded. "I can see how that would happen as a result of being picked on. 'If they say it, it must be true' type of thing, right?"

Maura turned back to the fire. "You know why people do it? Do you know why they call themselves such vile, awful names?" She gripped the cushion tight, didn't wait for Jane to answer. "It's so that when others say them, it's okay. Because it's not as bad when you've taken the name as your own, made it a part of you. You know?"

"No. I don't know. I think when someone calls me something that doesn't fit the problem sits with them and their massive assholeness, not with me." She looked over up to see Jane's jaw set, her eyes tight with worry.

Remembered hurt shimmered up, flared in her chest. "I realise intellectually it's a bad idea – it generates low self esteem, it's self-fufilling prophecy, it's emotionally harmful. But it also means nobody can label me anything I don't choose to make my own. Maybe that's part of why 'queer' has started to become a positive term, when it was initially derogatory."

Jane's face shifted, became watchful. "Maura...has someone been saying something about us? I know we don't make it obvious...but we haven't exactly been living in a closet, here."

She smiled. "Being with you is kind of like having a nose. It just is."

Jane frowned at her. "You really just compared being with me to having a _nose_, didn't you?"

She laughed, finally. Felt some of the tension in her body leave. "It's like having an incredibly kind, generous, infuriating, sexy nose. If that helps."

Jane nodded. "Weirdly, yes." She grabbed a cushion, turned it idly in her hands. "Who called you names, Maur?"

Maura shrugged. "I'm a big girl. I can handle it. Queen of the Dead, cold, unfeeling. Weird. It's part of who I need to be to do my job. Sometimes it gets to me, that's all."

Jane nodded again, her hands clenching on the cushion. "Who called you names, Maur?"

She shook her head. "You're not my Mother, Jane. You don't need to go charging into school to beat the bullies up for me."

Jane tilted her head. "Your Mother ever do that?"

Maura shook her head, colouring. "No."

"Mine did. She once went into Frankie's classroom and made the bully apologise to everyone he ever beat up. Frankie was humiliated. So I can totally humiliate you." She shrugged. "If you want. Although I'm pretty much going to go ahead and find whoever hurt you and give them wedgies with or without your permission."

She smiled. "Jane."

"Yeah?"

She got up, crossed to the couch to lean over Jane. Kissed her forehead, letting her lips linger. She pulled back to see Jane's face, still containing traces of anger, worry. "Thank you."

Jane studied her. "You're just Maur. You know that? Who you are, it's never anything I'd change. And if I tell you we need to work on your Googlemouth or return you to the human race or start training you to drink unfiltered water I'm not saying it to be mean."

She sank down to lie against Jane, let her hold her tight. "I know. You're saying it to be a smartass."

Jane kissed the top of her head. "Exactly."

"I know who I am, Jane. I love who I am. It's just...sometimes it's hard."

Jane's hand ran down her back. "Yeah. I know, baby. If it helps I love who you are too. And I'll always be your nose."

Maura huffed a laugh, and pinched Jane's side. "Keep talking, smartass, and I'll ruin my own three hundred dollar cushions."

Jane caught her hand, squeezed. "Bring it."

**A/N:** Just nice to have someone to listen, and understand, right? Thanks so much as always for the reads and review – there are so many people reading this I confess to a little stage fright :P

Have a great week!

~K


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER:** When is it coming baaaack? I just – I can't even. Also, not mine.

Jane lay on her side, tied up. Blood ran freely from a cut on her upper arm. Her breathing was choppy, frightened.

Maura stood on the other side of the room, trapped behind a glass panel. She watched as a man, his face shadowed, stepped toward Jane.

Every muscle in her body humming with fear, she slammed her fist on the glass, trying to shatter it, trying to draw the man's attention. He looked up, and she stared into the face of Charles Hoyt.

"Don't worry, you'll have your turn." He spread his hands, revealing a scalpel in one hand. "Everyone's a winner here, Doctor Isles." He turned back to Jane.

"_Don't touch her!" _She screamed it. Screamed it again, as though her voice could reach through the wall and stop him, but he did it anyway. Ran his hand along her thigh, up along Jane's side. Gripped her arm, hard. Jane jerked, crying out in pain.

Her eyes met Maura's, trying to communicate something through the fear. Maura sobbed, desperately trying to read what Jane wanted to tell her. Then the scalpel dug in, and Jane's head jerked back.

"Stop it!" She spoke aloud, thrashing the sheets, sobbing as she tried to get free, to rip the bastard's heart out.

Hands grabbed her shoulders, shook her. She lashed out, still caught in the dream. Jane cried out and she opened her eyes.

"Jane?"

She felt warm arms come around her, hold tight. Relaxed inch by inch as Jane's mouth found hers once, twice, three times.

"What, you slug out other girls at three in the morning?" Jane rasped into her ear.

She half laughed, half-sobbed. "Only you."

She felt Jane reach over her to flick on the light, and saw she was touching her cheek, gingerly. "Yeah, well, _ow_, for the record."

Body still thrumming from the need to _do_ something, she moved Jane's hand aside, peered at the red mark on her cheek. "You'll live." She pressed her lips together, registering her choice of words. "I mean, it's just a superficial wound, so if we put some ice on it-"

"-Maur." Sharp dark eyes studied her through the tangled curls. A hand covered hers, gently. And Jane waited her out.

She held on, tight. "You were being attacked. And I couldn't save you."

She sensed, rather than saw, Jane's sudden impatience. "Maur, every cop's wife-"

"_-No_, Jane." Rather than pull away, she gripped tighter, needing to feel warm skin under her fingers. "Don't you patronize me. You know I know better than anyone what death does." She studied the pulse point of Jane's wrist. "Don't you dare think that I haven't considered what I'll need to do when it's you."

Jane shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not going to-" She broke off when Maura raised a gentle hand to the mark she'd made.

"Every cop's wife knows the statistics."

Jane raised a brow. "Well, what happens if it's you? For an ME you have a real bad habit of getting yourself into life-and-death situations."

She stiffened. "This isn't a competition."

"You're damn right it's not." Jane tangled a hand in her hair, yanked her into a hug.

Maura closed her eyes. Felt Jane's hear beat against her own.

"We can't do this to ourselves, Maur."

"We're already doing this." She whispered into Jane's hair.

Jane hugged her tighter. "Stop being a know-it-all."

Maura huffed a laugh. "Stop telling me what to."

Jane drew back, and everything inside of her stilled at the curious look in Jane's eyes. "Okay. How about we make it legal?"

She blinked. "What?"

Jane rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, that'd help, right? If something - God forbid - if something happened to one of us, then at least if we're legally covered that might take some of the worry away? If we were married, that is?"

Her brain had frozen. "I refer to my original question."

Jane cleared her throat. "Well, uh. This might not be the right time, but I've been thinking for a while that – Jesus, I knew I'd screw this up."

Maura forced the words out past the sudden lump in her throat. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "What do you think I'm doing, Maur, ordering a pizza? Stay there."

Orders given, she eased back to rummage through the side drawer, pulled out a sock, thrust it at Maura. "Here."

Maura stared at it, then directed an amused smirk at Jane. "Just what I've always wanted."

Muttering several uncomplimentary things under her breath, Jane yanked it back, captured her hand, and tipped the sock up.

A silver band set with a green stone dropped into her hand. "I- for me?"

Jane laughed. "Yes, doofus." Her face fell. "Unless you don't want it – which is completely fine. I mean I'll have to go to your parents and take back the whole asking-for-your-hand thing, but that's okay-"

Maura cut her off, kissing her hard. Jane smiled against her lips, then drew back slightly, taking the ring from her palm and sliding it on to Maura's finger.

"It's jade. It stands for courage and wisdom, and hope. I figure we already stand for those so it'll be a help when one or all of them packs it in temporarily."

Maura laughed, and Jane smiled, unshed tears glittering in her eyes.

"You're mine, Maura Isles. I want to argue over whether we have pizza or salad for dinner and fold laundry together and fight the bad guys and root for the good guys. I want to have freak out moments with you in the middle of the night. I want to..." She held up their joined hands. "I want _this_, Maur, for the rest of our lives and when it's all done, I don't want anyone to be able to say that everything I have isn't yours. Because everything I am already is."

She didn't know she was crying until Jane unclasped their hands, ran her thumbs under her eyes. "You know, you can say yes or no anytime now."

She tried to glare and failed miserably. "You haven't actually asked me a question."

Jane exhaled. "Maura Isles, I swear to god-"

"-But it doesn't matter, because, I think we're on the same page." She reached for her glasses case, unzipped the compartment inside. Presented Jane with a small pouch. "Open it."

Jane pulled out a silver ring with an onyx setting, similar to her own. She laughed, tears spilling over, unheeded. "You went shopping with Ma, too?"

She nodded. "I was leaning towards another setting, but she convinced me this would be right. I never suspected she'd already seen my ring."

Jane stared at her ring. "It's beautiful."

"So are you." She tugged at Jane's hand, placed the ring on her finger. "I have never known anyone who can hurt me as much as you can, Jane Rizzoli."

Jane frowned at her. "This is not starting well, Maur."

She kissed the ring on Jane's finger. "Wait. I was always my own person, but always within the lines, within the rules of other people's expectations. You taught me that I am not set in stone – I don't think you'll ever know how much of a gift that is. You made me - God, you make me laugh, and you get under my skin and you make fun of my shoes. You love me for who I am, and you protect, fiercely, who I am. It would be an honour to marry you, Jane Rizzoli." She batted her lashes, teasing. "Will you marry me?"

'Yes." Jane barely got the word out before she kissed her, drew back laughing, wiping her eyes. "God, I'm a mess. The boys at the station can _not_ hear about this."

Maura lay down, smiled saucily. "What will you give me if I don't tell them?"

Jane eyed her, then traced a hand down her side, making her squirm. "So help me Maur, I'll -"

"-You'll what?" She breathed, tracing her gaze down Jane's face.

"I'll spend a lot of time making sure you're thinking of other things." Jane kissed her, deep and slow.

Maura pulled back, breathless. "I'll always keep you safe." She tangled her hands in Jane's hair, sank into her warmth, and Jane let her have the lie, her hands tracing soothing circles along Maura's spine. She could feel the path Jane's ring made along her skin.

"I know you will."

**A/N:** So. I may possibly have spent the last couple of weeks watching OUAT obsessively. But Jane and Maura still have my heart, always, and I miss them and I want them back and this has been buzzing around in my head for a while. Also, yay, marriage equality. Have a great week all, and Holy Hell at the amount of Reads/Reviews – you guys seriously rock – thank you. XD


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